Dads Do Diapers. Dads Can Be Good Parents.

“Parent” is the general term used to refer to a multitude of mammalian realities. A parent gets things started, generates or produces another thing or creature similar to itself. Parent is the source, precursor, or ancestor of something that follows.

Do Parents Finish What They Start?

If you are a parent, true, you may be credited with getting something started, but you’re also held accountable for other realities and outcomes about what you got started, your infant. Human parents are held solemnly responsible, initially 100%, for the welfare of that new human being you so prodigiously produced.

Human beings do not get started or originated by a parent, but rather, what some have called, a parental unit. Two parents, one each from the opposite sex, must combine their efforts in unique and special ways to produce a human baby. So, we know why dads matter biologically and that fathers are essential, at least in the beginning.

So, OK. Dads Can Be Good Parents, But Can They Go The Distance?

As you know, however, things don’t end with “baby production:” they’re just getting started. For the next 18 years or longer, parents, both male and female, are expected to devote themselves to their offspring to whatever extent is required to provide and protect those kids and mature them out of infancy into full adulthood.

There are definitely exceptions from the traditional norm of expecting the biological parents to foster and nurture their kids to emancipation.  Adoption is one example.  Another is same sex parents in various configurations who assume parenting responsibilities after conception and birth.

Problems for Parents: Being the “Best” At Parenting Duties Is Not A Matter of Gender

The social, emotional, mental and psychological nurturing of offspring is where parenting gets problematic and controversial. Are moms are better parents and dads? Can women nurturing better than fathers? Are fathers only able to bring home the bacon? Are mothers the ones who can best change the diapers after spoon feeding their child in the high chair? Are dads the best disciplinarian’s  and moms the best with hugs and drying away the tears. Guess what: things are up for grabs and changing.

“One of the things that came out of this work was mutual understanding between couples. Some women said they now understood the stress that goes along with being the sole provider for the family.

Some men realized that, before the shift, they had no conception of what it took to be a stay-at-home parent. Based on my research, I believe these sorts of experiences can contribute to both men and women feeling more flexible in stepping in and out of work and parenting roles.” Noelle Chesley

The polarization about parenthood duties has deep roots. The truth is, every human being who has been involved in the biological aspect of parenting has an opportunity to define and distinguish themselves in all the many ways parenting evokes. People who didn’t participate in biological parenting of particular offspring, can also be given opportunities to argue about how best to demonstrate their worth as parents and use their ideas of how to bring the young to full development of all aspects of adulthood.

Despite the arguments and contentions, life goes on and modern-day reality is full of fathers and men taking on greater responsibility for day-to-day, hour-to-hour, face-to-face parenting duties. What are the results in the lives of these children who, at times receive, more parenting interactions from their fathers than they do from their mothers?

Does the research show dads can be good parents over time and do more than be a playmate?

The idea of Mr. Moms is trending and catches our attention more than Mrs. Dads. For whatever reasons, increasing numbers of fathers are effectively and skillfully stepping up for daily care of their offspring. And they are doing a good job of raising the next generation.

Let’s do away with competitive comparisons and polarization as to who makes the best parent.

Parenting Is The Most Difficult Job There Is.

It’s hard work to raise a human kid. Nature took pity on us requiring two parents be necessary to biologically get things sourced and going. Maybe the wisdom behind requiring two biological parents is that raising a child to full development as a human being is hard work, nearly impossible for a single parent. That job takes at least four hands to do well. There were times in my parenting years I wished for many more hands to aid in the childcare.

At the same time, the rewards of parenting are enormous and fathers are learning what historically mothers may have kept to themselves: day-to-day, hour-to-hour, face-to-face raising your kids puts you, the parent, in close enough proximity to get to know your offspring as people very well.

As the saying goes, “Magic always has a price.” Mr. Moms and stay-at-home dads are paying the price and therefore receive the magic of intimate connection and acquaintance with their children.

Let’s Get Personal With Dan, A Real Say-At-Home Dad (SAHD)

In his article, “Daddy Rules: Kids Aren’t the Only Ones with Questions,” stay-at-home dad, Dan Coleman, writes out some of the magic he gets from parenting his two children. I interviewed him about being a Mr. Mom and what that has taught him. Here’s an excerpt from what he told me:

I hope you’ll read his article. Dan is living proof dads can be good parents.